The Fall (R)- comments welcome

[satrios]

Prologue

My Friends (or I would hope,no one can tell any more) I have a story to tell you. It has been a burden to speak of this until now. Though now I may learning dark arts, the time of this story is before that. I supply perfect description of my experience. This is why I trust you understand how this will be brutal. I was once an assassin. I had nothing else. Read my bio and you will understand. This allowed me to be in constant action, building my figure and muscles. I otherwise would have gone into depression. After training, I became a feared assassine throughout the galaxy. (I will refer to myself in 3rd person, just to help details make themselves known better). Then I was sent on this mission...my last

[satrios]

Galen Marodak walked through the halls of the building. He had been on a mission and was returning for his reward. When he finally reached the door, he through it open. Nod Askan was sitting in a chair, with his back towards Galen.

"I see you have returned Galen. I have another mission for you, perhaps the most dangerous that you have been on. I need you to kill a Jedi by the name of Joppa Trask. He is a rogue and has been blocking my business from moving forward. There is a catch however. Sarek, another assassin, is after the same target. You may wish to beat him to the target."

Galen thought of this and accepted. He got the information and left. He had been waiting for a moment like this ever since he joined this group. A Jedi, like the ones that had left him nothing, was finally his target. He knew it would be risky, but he was excited. He stopped by his quarters and loaded his gear. All he took was four daggers, and vibrodagger, one concussion grenade, and a small pistol. He tucked these inside his unique robe and walked to his aircraft.

"This will be fun." He sneared.

[satrios]

Galen landed on the landing platform which was located approximately only half a mile from the building. The cockpit rose itself up enough for Galen to jump out. He made sure all his necesities where firmly strapped and he began to run towards the building. His Assassin experience had rewarded him with the ability to run quite fast, as well as being stealthy. He was able to run up to the walls and not be noticed. The building walls resembled that of a castle, brick and stone. Galen took a few steps back and ran as fast as he could towards the wall. He jumped at the last minute and fastened his hand to a crevice in the wall. He began scaling it, ever so slowly, and eventually reached an open window. He slowly snuck in and made sure his weapons were still in order. He heard some guards rounding the corner to enter the room. It was time.

Galen lept towards them, smoothly pulling a dagger out and cutting one's throat. As the blood flowed, he quickly stuck the dagger into the other guards neck, and plucked his vocal cords out with ease. This made it to where they would not be capable of calling out and warning others. Galen left them and exited the room, knowing they would eventually bleed to death.

After similarly ending more guards lives, Galen finally found the main room. Though he had no attunity to the force(or so I thought), he could feel something coming from the other end. Galen tried to find a way to enter without being noticed, but could find nothing but the main door. He then caught a glimpse of a window high up, which led to a overhang inside the room. After scaling the walls and skillfully removing glass panels from the window, he crawled in quitely and looked over the edge of the railing. At last he saw his target. Joppa Trask was sitting in the middle of the room, meditating. Galen knew stealth would be his only chance in easily taking him. He took a few steps back, ran, and lept off the everhang towards his target, with his vibrodagger in hand.

[Darth Angelus™]

Not a bad read Marodak. It's interesting, exciting, it even has humour. Good write.

Keep on going! I wanna read all of this.

[satrios]

Garen quickly fell upon his enemy. He thought deeply as he was falling towards him, thinking of what to do next. He was suddenly caught up in midair, and thrown with bone crushing force against a nearby wall. He fell, his body falling limp. Galen used all his effort to stay conscious. Joppa Trask slowly stood up from his meditation and looked towards Galen, with a look of disappointment.

"So Askan sends a mere assassin instead of himself huh? I won't fight you. I don't waste my time on boys."

Galen slowly rose in anger, pulling out his vibrodagger, and charged towards Joppa. Joppa easily sidestepped and clotheslined Galen, once again causing him excrutiating pain.

"If you force me to defend myself, I will."

Galen rose again and the fight began. I will not go into detail about the fight itself. It was just a fight, vibrodagger against lightsaber. Galen could feel himself getting tired, and he knew that Joppa knew this. The end was near.

[satrios]

Galen fought with great ferver. All he had to defend himself with was a simple vibro dagger. He was fighting a conditioned Jedi. It was strange and uncanny, but something was allowing Galen to confront him. Though this is true, he was getting tired fast. Joppa reached out with the force and attempted to throw Galen away. Galen blocked it (I still cannot explain how). Galen took Joppa's surprise to his advantage. He sliced a deep cut into Joppa's hand, reeling it useless. His lightsaber fell from his hand. Before he could react, Galen stabbed his leg, thrusting the blade directly through the bone. Galen quickly twisted the blade until it snapped off completely. Galen pulled out a normal dagger, pulling back to finish Joppa off. Suddenly, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He saw a creature, hideous, standing between two pillars. He had never seen this creature before, then he disappeared. This dillusion gave Joppa just enough time to reach with the force to grab his fallen saber with his other hand. He thrust the saber through Galen stomach, burning the flesh surrounding the entrance wound. Galen screamed in pain and the blade slowly burnt his flesh. Joppa pulled the blade out and extinguished it. He then picked up Galen's fallen dagger and sliced it across Galen's face over and over again, completely destroying his lower jaw and mortally wounding his upper face. Joppa picked him up and threw him against some wooden boxed in the corner of the room. The boxes shattered and splintered the now lifeless form of Galen...

(I do not recall anything else from this point on except wakeing up in a surgical room... I remeber being in a bacta tank... apparently, my lower jaw was too mutilated to be fixed simply by bacta.)

[glow=silver,2,300]THIS IS WHERE MY TRAINING THREAD PICKS UP[/glow]

[Darth Angelus™]

Wow! That was pretty good Marodak. If you bring out another one I'm sure to read it. Well done!

[Darth Shivilow™]

Holy moley this was a very good story I must really say that if you make another story I be there to read it.