Into the Rishi Maze

[Aeon Kensho™]

My name is Aeon Kensho,I am a Chiss. My story starts at the planet Csilla in the year of 42 BBY,In the unknown regions of space. Csilla is an Ice planet that would make Hoth look tropic,Home of the Chiss species. I was brought to the Order at a young age. I was accepted for training and able to keep my name. All I know of my family is what the council told me of them.I was named Aeon given to me by my father, In representation of how long it took my him to convince my mother to marry him.

Chiss are a species with blue skin, black hair with a blue tint to it,and red glowing eyes. In my training my Species actually served a purpose to the council. Chiss have a very short adolescent stage. The transition takes less than a year. The council took notice on me due to this. After learning of the creation of the clone army in 22 BBY.

The Council had decided since I had a career with not much fame. That I would be the perfect candidate to become a Jedi Shadow. My mission was to search the outer rim for traces of the Sith. To do this I would have to never have communications with the Jedi Council or the Republic again. I was put into secret training with Grandmasters .I had to be in total control to leave the order. Also needing to hide the fact I am a Jedi. I was taught Form 0, I was also given instruction in Trakata. In order to conserve energy,and if possible use the Force without detection.

The Jedi council was worried about the situation, and since it was thought there might be an informer or spy. My Identity was Erased from all archive records. It was as I never existed.No records of my existence survived. Then I was given a created Identity for me and a Codename"ReikiMaster"False records were created for me to mask my identity.

I couldn't dress as a Jedi anymore either I was given casual clothes.I was also given a ship by the order a Alpha-class Xg-1 Star Wing.It was given to me by a friend of the order in secret and paid for by the order.I leave the order,In secrecy looking like a civilian.I head to the Hanger in the industrial quarter.I look at the Temple as I ride away in a taxi.

Stepping off the taxi and walk into the hidden hanger."Is everything in order?"I ask the deck hands as I approach."Yes of course man says as he head out of the shadows."Where is my shuttle?"I ask

Everything is prepared your shuttle is in side my capital ship.Now If you are ready we'll take off.He says."But what of the travel registry I could be recognized?"I ask him"Don't worry"he blurts out"You have a different name everything should check out.Not to mention we be flying so unmentionables on board as well.I have connections with the docking authorities,Calm down "he says"Just get on board and head to your quarters,Rest there until I contact you.When we leave the system,You will be ready to launch."

Looking at Corusant glow as we leave.It might be the lat time I see it.*Static* "Alright you are golden,this is where we part ways."buzzes the communicator in my quarters.I head to the hanger as I walk in I see my ship.The reality sets in,As I board my shuttle.I prepare everything with my hyperspace charts.It will be a few moment before I am ready to go into Hyperspace.The doors open of the capital ships hangers.As I fly out the wings extend and open on my shuttle.The hyper drive computer beeps.The co-ordinates are in as I look at the screen."Kamino,Here I come"I say as I punch the lever and blast into Hyperspace.

Pushing the lever back up as I fly out of Hyperspace.I can see it, Kamino.As I fly into the atmosphere I go through some severe Thunderstorms,Lightning cracks.It pours rain as I see Tipoca City as I fly down.I Begin to land on a pad as the wings of my ship begin to collapse in."This should be interesting"I think to myself.

Never really having dealt with people who weren't aware I was a Jedi.I wonder how they would treat me.The ramp opens as I come out,I see a silhouette in the door as I walk towards it.As the door opens I am greeted by a Kaminoian."Hello what is your business here sir?"

"I seek information I mean no harm.Do you posses any information on the Rishi maze?"I ask."Information on that subject is restricted I afraid.And if you have no longer business I'm sorry,I'm afraid you'll have to leave."She says.

Waving my hand"You *Want* to help me.You *Will* give me the information I seek."i say as she repeats the sentence back to me.We head to a computer,I work fast and discreetly.There I have it.I should leave while I can.I head to my ship and get on board.I strap in and take off."Well that wasn't too bad"I think to myself as I go over the information I have gotten from the mainframe in Tipoca city.

As I look over the records I had gotten from the Tipoca city mainframe.As I look over them I see that the Rishi Maze was once the Rishi system before it went supernova.The system was rich in mining.The system had a very large sun,Which only partially exploded when it went supernova.Now the system had become a giant maze of interstellar gas and supernova remnant.It is said all that enter never return.The maze never stops moving.Since none have ever returned it is undetermined what would happen if one entered the system.

I read over the files while in hyperspace.I am getting cold feet.I might have bit off more than I can chew here.I move to the pilots seat.I push the Hyper drive lever back up,Disengaging the hyper drive.I come out of light speed to see the maze.I try to fly back,I cant!The computers on the ship are going haywire,beeping and buzzing like crazy!

It seems there is nothing I can do I am being pulled into the Maze!I have to stop struggling or the ship will break up on me.As I head in it is like entering a Psychedelic cloud.Just as I enter all of my Navi-computer systems go out.The orbital chart buzzes out.The system is always moving and explosions are everywhere.I have no charts,the force will have to guide me.

This is a disaster"Blast!"I say to myself as I fly into the flow.I have to go with the spin of the gasses.I weave in between meteors,they must be the remnants of a planet.This system has to be devoid of life.I have to fly evasive maneuvers as I head in to some other space clouds.I get a strong feeling as I zoom out of the cloud it erupts into an explosion,It triggers explosions all around.

I barely escape the explosion."This is insane!"I say as I pull my ship closer to a bigger meteor flying by.It seems if I orbit this meteor I can escape,the meteor shielding my ship from the explosion.

It works but now the meteors are exploding and I'm right next to them.I pull a hard right.I find a current and fly along it.I ride this current for 3 days.I am exhausted yet I can't leave the ship on auto pilot and sleep if I want to wake up.It seems things have calmed down,For now.As the clouds of purple and blue gas split.I see it a planet,Salvation.I don't hesitate to fly into orbit.

As I enter the atmosphere I do a scan of the planets surface,climate,and atmosphere.It seems no life,No wonder.There isn't enough light to grow any food naturally.As I pull through the Grey clouds I see the surface.

It is a dead planet its surface is covered with ash.It seems there are constant storms.Huge craters cover the planet.I am surprised there even is any planets at all.I decide the land the ship on the side of one of the craters along its side on the edge of the cliffs.

This planet was a sight for sore eyes dead or not.I sleep for about two days.I go through my survival kits and eat something.
I meditate for hours trying to figure the best course of action.I decide I will leave the planet.I Head to the captains chair,I look out the front window as the systems warm up.So much ash has built up as the storm continues..All systems are green.I decide to take off.The wings of my shuttle open as I begin to take off.

Ash churns around my Alpha-class Xg-1 Star Wing as I blast away from this dead planet.I am on edge as I come out of the atmosphere.There is a red glow to the space around the planet.As I fly out I have to try to navigate the maze with the Force.I am extremely focused as I head into some interstellar gasses.As I fly through I see explosions rage on ahead.

I head into a asteroid field to escape the explosions.This asteroid field is thick with many small asteroids.I spin the shuttle through,Asteroids crash together behind my ship.I am sweating profusely as I pull up.I fly over through some asteroids as my ship is struck!

Sirens scream!As the console buzzes and beeps in front of me.There is no time to waste as I flip around another asteroid.I see the hyper drive is leaking,the ship has sustained too much damage to go on.

There is no choice I must land the ship,My only hope is to head for the dead planets.The ship has lost one of its smaller wings.The integrity of the ship has been compromised.It won't hold together much longer.

Spinning as I fly through the asteroid field on my way back.The spin is perfectly timed as asteroid fly all around the ship barely missing.I am struggling to keep the ship together as I exit the field.

Seeing the dead planet ahead,I never thought I would be happy to see this god forsaken planet.The ship begins to break up as I enter the Atmosphere.I use the Force to keep the hull of the ship together.As I hold on to the controls they shake violently,As I struggle to maintain control of the ship.Another wing tears and flies off as I plummet towards the surface.I use the Force to hold the ship together,The ships deteriorates.The ship begins to spin out as it crashes into a dune of ash.

I awaken next to a crash of what seems to be a Ash planet.I cannot remember how I got here,Where here is,And who I am.Spitting ash out of my mouth,rubbing my eyes.I get up seeing a crashed shuttle next to me.It is on fire,I search through it.A door is smashed open.As I search through the shuttles quarters I find a survival kit.Also I find some blue cubes and another which has an orange glow to it.I grab them and put them into the survival kit.I head towards the captains chair.

As I search through the Navi computer logs,Thats strange.I can't seem to find any information on the computer its seems something has fried it.Also I notice it seemed to be tampered with.This ship is in rubble,I get a strong feeling I should leave.I run out of the crash as it erupts into an explosion.

I pull out the survival kit and patch up my wounds.I notice a soothing feeling from my hands.The wind is brutal,The ash is unforgiving.I head off to find some sort of shelter.I walk for over half of a day.It is pitch black and cold.The only lights are the interstellar gas glowing in space.There is a blueish purple glow.

I have walked for so long and found nothing.Beginning to trust a whim I feel.I head off walking into the wind.An illogical decision to most.I see a dune in the distance.I run to it,It is a Cave.I head in without haste.The cavern goes on for awhile before it begins to widen.I walk into a giant room.Crystal are lined throughout it,An overwhelming feeling of peace and well being wash over.

Letting out a sigh as it echoes off the caverns wall,I head down a walkway that spiral down.I jump down into a room,Water!I jump down to my knees scooping water into my mouth.I drink until I have my fill.I continue downward,On a curving path.

I head into a Giant room filled with orange crystals,The whole cave glow bright orange.I search through this amazing room.I see a huge crystal formation.It has so many shards coming out of it.I hear it call to me.

I take some Crystals that call to me.As I look over the cave I see a body,It is ancient.As I look over the body is seems it is an ancient Jedi.As I look over his belongings I find his lightsaber,It seems it is malfunctioning.No doubt for the ages of dis-activation.I noticed the clip on the saber,Matches a clip I found hidden away on the back of my belt.The hilt clips on as I remove his robes and switch clothes with my own,I take his body to a a grave i had dug for him.The robes feel so familiar,I am very comfortable.Finding another holocron in his possession,I hear it call out as I touch it"I am Jedi Master Malakai,I have been stranded on this dead planet for too long to remember.In this cave is how I survived.To find this place you must have an affinity to the Force yourself,I hope this Holocron serves you well.Perhaps you will have better luck than me.May the Force be with you."

The holocron dis-activates and I place it in my bag.I spend weeks in the cavern rediscovering my connection to the Force through the holocrons.In time I reset one of the orange crystals in the ancient saber.I have worked on it for a while with instruction for the holocrons.As I turn the saber on again,It rips through the air with a screech alive again with the Force.I walk down the walkway further into the depths of the cavern.Part of the walkway is broken out and there is about a 45 foot gap.

I Force leap the gap,Landing and continuing my decent into the cavern.I come to a giant Pool and fountain at the bottom of the cavern.This seems to be the only place alive I have seen on this planet.Fish swim through the water,As a fountain trickles down into the pool.The waters glow with the light from crystals at the bottom of the pool.

[Garyn Fett™]

Not bad, though your sentences get very choppy, and you have a number of gramattical errors. Some of your logic seems to be faulty as well, namely that about the planet and ash falling all around, as well as light coming from the Maze.

Other than that, though, a somewhat solid story.

[jedi1life]

a very solid story and worth the read

[Darth Shivilow™]

twas a great read indeed i loved the part at the beginning where you weren't allowed to where Jedi robes makes u more mysterious.

[Aeon Kensho™]

Walking along the pool a reflection different from my own is shown, Looking into the water I feel as if my spirit was being pulled from my body. Wavering I stumble over, Falling down to my hands and knees. Seeing a masked figure in the pool looking back at myself. The center of my chest feels like it is caving in. It feels like all the oxygen burned out of the air in a split second.)

Feeling my spirit being ripped out of my body. I vomit on the rocks pushing as hard as I can not to collapse. Looking up I see a black hole in the center of the pool. The harder it spins the more force is creates. Rocks begin to be thrown about the cavern, The force off the whirlpool begins to crack stalagtites and shaken the caverns floor!

The caverns grey stone turns black and the cave begins caving in! One of my hands slips into the pool. I fall over as water splashes up on my face. The waters color goes from a blue green to a dark green. A film covers the surface as it feels like the cavern turns to it's side. Sliding in the water bubbles gurgling, Closing my mouth as I slide in head first.

The bubbles seem to be emitting a green cloud, It almost seems if spores are filling the air. My eyes burn, keeping them close to avoid further damage. Attempting to crawl I reach out with my hands to make contact with anything.

Plunging downward I move my arms left and right as I sink down into the deep pool. My eyes burn as I try to open them while under water. Feeling weighted down I struggle after sinking over ten feet, My struggle ends. I let go and let the current carrying me under.

Feeling a tentacle wrapping around my leg I am pulled under quite a bit further. Feeling other tentacles wrapping around my arms I become tangled. Rocks begin falling into the water over head. A loud moan sound fills the pool!