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Post by jedi1life on Feb 12, 2008 12:35:00 GMT -5
that is great work and a wonderful read i enjoyed it very much and can't wait to see what you come up with i give it a perfect 10
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Derek Skirata
Jedi Master
{S=22}}}
"Honor is better than power." - Derek Skirata
Posts: 2,657
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Post by Derek Skirata on Feb 16, 2008 13:11:10 GMT -5
that is great work and a wonderful read i enjoyed it very much and can't wait to see what you come up with i give it a perfect 10 Chapter 8 is done. The rest of the story will continue & conclude in Chapter 9.
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Darth Shivilow™
Jedi Master
Myspace is where I have been but now I'm back to rp!Tuesday&Thursday is the only time I can get on.
Posts: 2,059
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Post by Darth Shivilow™ on Feb 29, 2008 18:21:40 GMT -5
Wow what a great story but now i have to waity for this huge cliff hanger its like my soap operas. great story though Derek very imagnative.
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Derek Skirata
Jedi Master
{S=22}}}
"Honor is better than power." - Derek Skirata
Posts: 2,657
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Post by Derek Skirata on Mar 19, 2008 9:49:06 GMT -5
OK. Here is Chapter 9. Now I know originally I was gonna use that insane Dark Jedi from "3.5" but sadly info couldn't get here fast enough so Soul Ry'thm returns to settle the score. But he will make an appearance soon. You'll also never guess what will happen in the ending! Speaking of that Dark Jedi from "3.5", I do not own him. Whoever made the fan film owns that character.
Chapter 9 - Settling the Score
Derek screamed while Darth Venomous bombarded him with her Force Lightning. Derek couldn't take it anymore; Venomous was too powerful for him to handle now. Also with her lover Valrum, Derek didn't even stand a chance anymore, despite his training & physical stature. "No. This is far too good for you!" Venomous cackled. She then grabbed his neck & started crushing Derek's neck with all her strength while at the same time using Force Lighting to shock Derek to death. She then got her lightsaber & readied herself to make the kill. "Mandalorian, this will bring me great happiness!" Derek closed his eyes & readied his spirit to leave his body as he was about to become one with the Force & meet this unwelcomed end.
But the blow never came. Along with that, the Force Lightning ceased. Darth Venomous was Force Pushed by someone else. "Playtime is over, bug eyes!" a female voice shouted at Venomous. Derek, even though he is almost unconscious, recognized the voice. It was Soul Ry'thm! Valrum also tried to attack but Soul blocked his blow & kicked the Dark Jedi away from her. She ran over to Derek. "Are you alright?" She asked, using Force Heal for Derek. "Yeah." Derek answered, groaning in pain. "Thanks. I owe you one." "Don't mention it." Soul chuckled. "This wasn't your fight!!" Venomous roared. "It is now, little girl with white hair!!" Venomous then sent Force Lightning at Soul.
Soul, now a little upset with Venomous calling her a "little girl with white hair" & remembering the time when the other Padawans teased her about her hair, raised her hand & just caught the lightning. "Big mistake on insulting me like that!!" Soul shouted. When she finished, she sent the lightning back & it hit Venomous. She fell to the ground & grunted in pain for the lighting hitting her & her hitting the ground. Venomous, enraged, got up & readied her lightsaber. "Killing you will be much easier since you're just a Padawan with a training lightsaber claiming you're a Master. I'll crush you like a tin can!!"
But before Venomous could actually move, Derek started to Force Pull her lightsaber away, causing Venomous to roar in rage. Derek then used his jet pack to move in to slice Venomous in half. But Venomous saw it coming & jumped out of the way. She then pulled out something that was very familiar. It was the datasphere! "Remember this?" Venomous cackled. "This is the very same device that I stole from your puny little Jedi friend who tried to get off Veridan IV with it. But now I finally accessed the priceless information inside & now have the knowledge to guarantee me my very own Sith Empire!!" Venomous moved the sphere into her palm. Derek, knowing that the Jedi & the Republic still need the sphere, tried to stop her by trying to Force Pull it. "NOOOOO!!!!" Derek protested but it was too late; Venomous closed her hand to a fist & crushed the sphere to nothing but dust.
"Now you have no chance of stopping me. The Sith will eternally rule the galaxy with me as the eternal leader!" Venomous cackled. "Not if we can stop you!" Soul sent a powerful Force Wave at Venomous, sending her flying until she crashed into some debris, knocking her unconscious. Meanwhile, Valrum was sneaking up on Derek, hoping to kill him from behind. "Derek behind you!!" Soul shouted. Derek quickly turned around & managed to jump out of the way in time & punched Valrum in the face. Soul distracted Valrum by sending a small steel pipe at him. Valrum cut it in half but it was too late; Derek had stabbed Valrum in the chest. Valrum sent out a grunt & fell to the ground, dead.
Derek was breathing in & out. He collapsed. "Derek?" Soul ran over to him. She removed his helmet & tried to revive him. "Derek please don't do this. Stay with me, please." Derek slowly opened his eyes. "Uhh.... that was the hardest battle since my first encounter with that Kessia Sith-wannabe." Derek chuckled, weakly. "I'm bringing you to a medic. Where is your ship?" Soul recommended. "Don't worry. The crew will be here to send a shuttle." Derek answered. "R4, please bring the fighter back to the Infiltrator." After hearing a few beeps, the Hawk I flew up into the air. A few minutes later, one of the Jedi shuttles landed nearby with Soul carrying Derek. After they got in, the shuttle took off for Derek's flagship.
Meanwhile, after Derek & Soul left, Darth Venomous slowly crawled out of the wreckage after regaining consciousness. She growled in rage after her second defeat. She also started to think about her performance in the battle. Even though Derek had help last time, she was very close to killing him. This time, however, she was still close but not as close. She had help on her side but still she didn't perform as well. She started to wonder why. She then felt something that almost made her queasy & then she realized why Derek defeated her a little easier than last time.
She looked around for Valrum & even called his name a few times. No answer. She looked around until she saw a corpse of a man dressed in black Dark Jedi apparel. It was her love Valrum. She saw the wound & instantly knew who caused it & she didn't even need to say or think of the name. She roared in rage after seeing Valrum's corpse. "I will avenge you, my love." She growled, though part of her somehow just saw Valrum as a tool for her to gain power. "But sadly you will never know that.....I'm pregnant with your child."
(Well that's the end of Chapter 9. Didn't see that coming eh? LOL)
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Soul Ry'thm
Jedi Master
"Sometimes the way Forwards, is the way Back"
Posts: 541
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Post by Soul Ry'thm on Mar 19, 2008 22:19:52 GMT -5
Oh my GOSH!! This is so completely, amazingly, AWESOME!! I had no idea that your story would be so gripping! I LOVE IT! Like watching a film or playing KOTOR. ^_^ please please please please pleeeeeeeese update again soon.
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Derek Skirata
Jedi Master
{S=22}}}
"Honor is better than power." - Derek Skirata
Posts: 2,657
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Post by Derek Skirata on Mar 20, 2008 8:20:07 GMT -5
Oh my GOSH!! This is so completely, amazingly, AWESOME!! I had no idea that your story would be so gripping! I LOVE IT! Like watching a film or playing KOTOR. ^_^ please please please please pleeeeeeeese update again soon. OK OK, Soul/Gwen (you'll always be remembered as Soul, no matter what you do lol). But first I'll need that Dark Jedi's name from that fan film. Both the Jedi & Sith name. (in a future chapter Derek will be fighting him lol)
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Darth Valrum
Jedi Master
}}Force Power{49994}
"Some decisions are made by destiny, Some decisions are made by choice."
Posts: 781
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Post by Darth Valrum on Mar 22, 2008 2:27:39 GMT -5
OOOOO i cant wait for me to come in!
im loving it! its getting good!
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Derek Skirata
Jedi Master
{S=22}}}
"Honor is better than power." - Derek Skirata
Posts: 2,657
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Post by Derek Skirata on Mar 22, 2008 9:47:12 GMT -5
Chapter 9 is finally done. *Chapter 10 Preview*: Derek teams up with Soul Ry'thm to fight some Dark Jedi or anyone affiliated with Count Dooku. However the dark side is being unleashed by the last person Derek expects: Soul Ry'thm.
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Derek Skirata
Jedi Master
{S=22}}}
"Honor is better than power." - Derek Skirata
Posts: 2,657
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Post by Derek Skirata on Aug 27, 2008 14:58:21 GMT -5
Sorry for the double post, everyone, but here is chapter 10 (part of the plot is very similar to an episode from the 1993 Saturday Morning Sonic cartoon):
Chapter 10 - Keep Your Friends Close....
During a battle on Kamino, Derek Skirata deflected the shots right back at the Super Battle Droids then he fired the rocket on his jet pack to destroy a few more squads of droids. Nearby Soul Ry'thm was starting to have trouble since the Super Battle Droids were starting to surround her. When Derek was finished he noticed she was having trouble. He ran over to her, hoping it wasn't too late. Then he started slicing up the droids & Force Pushing them off of the platform. But even that wasn't enough.
Just when she was just about to be overwhelmed, something inside Soul snapped & then out of nowhere, she sent a shockwave of Force power at the droids, causing all of them to be falling past the other side of the platform. Derek looked at what Soul did in complete amazement. "How did you do that?" He asked her. "I....don't know." Soul answered, a little worried. "But that didn't feel right." Shortly after the battle, on board one of the Republic Assault Ships, Derek was trying to comprehend everything on what Soul just did. "I never seen anything like that before." He shook his head. "I felt like something just snapped inside me." Soul confessed. "Maybe I just need some rest." "Maybe you're right." Derek agreed. "It has been a difficult battle." He smiled at her then retreated to his cabin.
Derek walked with Soul to her room on board of his ship. He tucked her in to her bed & walked away back to the bridge, where he met his brother A'denn Gra'tua "Myles" Skirata II, whom he just met recently. "Jetii." Myles greeted his brother with Derek's real name. "How's Master Soul?" "She's been acting weird recently." Derek answered. "She just unleashed a Force Repulse like I've never seen before, something she couldn't do yet." "I dunno this Force stuff but she'll be alright." Myles assured. "Anyway Kamino has been secured--." They then felt a small rumble coming from inside the ship. "What was that?" They both ran over to Soul's room, which looked like it was demolished by a team in a split second.
"Soul?" Derek asked. But she was nowhere to be found. She was found underneath the rubble when Myles picked up a piece of what remains of the bed. "She's unconscious." Myles explained. "I found the cause of this explosion." Derek added. "And it wasn't the Force. It was some problem with the heater. I thought I fixed it." "Stupid di'kuts." Myles growled, picking her up & taking her to the medical facility. After an hour of analyzing her, Myles gave the news to Derek. "Well she'll be alright." He explained. "But what's wrong with her?" Derek asked. "She's suffering from temporary memory loss but she'll eventually get her memory back."
Myles left after he was needed on the bridge for something. Derek then walked over to Soul & just thought of the times they grew up together. She then opened her eyes suddenly & looked around. "Where am I?" She asked. "You're on board the Infiltrator." Derek answered. "What's that?" Soul asked. "My ship." Derek answered. "Are you alright?" "Alright?" Soul repeated. "I haven't felt this good in a long time!" Just when she finished, Derek noticed many tools just floating in the air. "Soul?" He asked. "Who's Soul?" She asked, then looking at the tools, then smiling. "I never felt this much power before." "Soul you really need to--." Derek started but then he was Force pushed back to the wall. "STOP CALLING ME THAT!!" She yelled.
Derek tried to get up but she lifted Derek into the air & threw him across the room, having him crash into another wall & falling to the ground. When he woke up, he saw his brother trying to wake him up. "Jetii, you alright?" "Yeah." Derek groaned. "What happened?" Myles asked. "She just....pushed me aside." Derek answered. "Never thought she was that angry before." Then his eyes widened. "We have to find her before Dooku does! If he does, there's no chance Soul would ever get her memories or return to the light!!" "Leave that to me." Myles nodded, helping Derek to his feet then walking away. "Myles, where are you going?" Derek asked. "To find Soul." Myles asked. "Myles, no." Derek protested. "We have no idea what she will do to you." Myles refused to listen. "Put this job on my tab." Myles then hopped into his ship, then flew out of the hanger.
Derek shook his head then ran to the Hawk I, flying out of the hanger & following Myles. "This is Derek Skirata to the Infiltrator. I want you to take this ship back to base ASAP. No time for questions." After getting the "OK" signal from the bridge, Derek flew the ship into hyperspace after getting the coordinates from Myles, with the Infiltrator going into hyperspace in the opposite direction. "Myles, ner verd, we need to work together to find Soul before anyone on Dooku's side finds her!" Derek reminded. "Derek this is my job. You don't have to risk your life just for a friend." Myles explained. "Myles, you have no idea what she can do to you." Derek pleaded. "Derek, she'll be a piece of cake." Myles chuckled. "Myles we're not supposed to kill her." Derek reminded. "We're supposed to capture her alive & restore her memories. If we don't, most likely Dooku or any of his Acolytes will find her."
Meanwhile Soul was piloting her ship that she took from Derek's flagship & Derek's worst fears were confirmed. The bounty hunter that was paid to "betray" Venomous had appeared. You there! The bounty hunter transmitted. What is your name? Soul was confused. To her the ship was familiar but she didn't have a choice. "I....don't know." Soul answered. Well, don't worry. You're with us now. The bounty hunter chuckled in his language, looking over his shoulder to see the black-cloaked figure of Venomous, grinning at Soul's ship.
(Next Chapter coming soon)
*CHAPTER 11 PREVIEW*
Derek finally catches up to Soul Ry'thm only to find Venomous in her cluthces. Despite her pregnancy, Venomous challenges Derek yet again. It is here that Venomous finally reveals her sinister plan to the galaxy. Surprisingly, her target is NOT the Jedi Order!
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